the muppet...

the guy upstairs woke me up in the middle of the night. again.

i call him the muppet because he's unusually tall, has big floppy hair, a tiny little squeaky voice, and is made entirely out of felt.

well, okay, no, that last thing isn't actually true. but if it were, it wouldn't be the strangest thing about him.

he's just an odd duck. the things he says are just enough to sorta/kinda slightly freak you out. but he has a pretty thick accent, which makes it kind of difficult to understand him. so, there's a bit of a delayed freak-out reaction on my part.

usually, what i do when someone has a thick accent that i can't understand is just nod and put on a huge smile, and say things like, "YEAH!" or, "SURE!" or, "HAHAHA! YOU KNOW IT!" and that seems to work on most ocassions. they tend to nod and smile back in a way that lets me know that they feel like they're being understood and respected.

...unless, of course, they're all saying things like, "i feel as though you're not understanding me because of my accent, and are just saying agreeable things because you are an idiot. is that true?"

"HAHAHAHAHA! YOU BETCHA!!!"

the muppet sounds exactly like beaker. if beaker was from bangladesh. the last time i talked to him, (i think) he asked me something about how much rent i pay for my apartment. when i told him, he said, "wow! so much money for such a little amount of space."

or at least that's what i was able to decipher after a few hours. and then i thought... "whoah, wait a minute... how does he know how much space i have? he's never been inside my apartment! ...has he???"

i might be a touch paranoid here, but it wouldn't shock me at all if the muppet and i had a similar conversation about my underwear someday. "you know, the elastic in your boxer shorts is just not up to par. you should really stop purchasing such items at target."

"well, you probably bring up a good-- wait, what?!"

for now, though, i'm mostly concerned with the conversations he's having with the television late at night when i'm trying to sleep. i thought i was done with all that after the world series ended, but i was dreadfully mistaken. i don't know what sport he could have been watching at three in the morning-- or, for that matter, what decade he thought he was living in-- but, for a good four minutes in a row, all i could hear was indian beaker shouting, "WHOOMP! THERE IT IS! WHOOMP! THERE IT IS! WHOOMP! THERE IT IS!"

never a dull moment, my friends.


the five things i fell in love with today...

1) speaking of horrible songs from the 90's, i was in the bathroom at the movie theater a few weeks ago when some dude came strolling in, whistling "i wanna sex u up." i thought this was both hysterical and disturbing at the same time. hysterical that people still dug color me badd. and disturbing that i recognized the tune so quickly.
2) bunson honeydew
3) frank oz.
4) meeting frank oz at the jacob burns film center. it was great! i shook his hand and told him i wanted to thank him because i'd realized earlier in the day that he had been entertaining me my entire life.
5) jim henson.

song of the day...
"antartica" by the weepies. i find this to be a good track to listen to whenever i want to get a horrible song from the 90's out of my head.

movie of the day...
"death at a funeral" that was the film frank oz was promoting at the burns. fall out of your seat funny!