Saturday, October 31, 2009

hooray for hollywood...

did you ever see something in the newspaper that was so dumb, you felt like you had to stop and read it again? because, you thought, "wait, no one could be that dumb. i must have misread that last part." but, then you looked it over a second time, and it actually managed to get even more dumb? like, derek zoolander dumb? that happened to me yesterday.

a few months ago, it was announced that the academy awards were going to present 10 best picture nominees, instead of five. the hope was to get wider recognition for films that have not been traditional best picture candidates. like little-seen independent films such as 'in bruges'. or well-made animated features, like 'wall-e.' or classics, featuring vin diesel, like, 'xxx' or 'the chronicles of riddick.'

but, mostly this has all been about one thing: tv ratings.

the thought is, if you expand the field to 10 nominees, it's more likely that a blockbuster like 'the dark knight' will get in. and, if that happens, you'll bring in a bigger television audience, which means more money for abc, and more potato chips sold for frito lay.

and, hey, i loved 'the dark knight'. it was hands down my favorite movie of 2008, and i thought it should have been in the running for best picture of the year. and i also have nothing whatsoever against potato chips, but i hate this new format.

i hate everything about it. i mean, i really liked 'jackass: the movie.' but, it ain't no 'casablanca'. still, if 'jackass 3: the lost fart tapes' comes out next year and grosses over $475 million dollars, are we going to have to expand the field to fifteen to make sure it gets in?

look, i admit it, i'm an academy award snob. i have all my dvds in alphabetical order, except for the ones which won an oscar for best film-- they're on a separate shelf in chronological order. i take the day off every year after the academy awards, because i want to watch every single minute of it, without worrying about my lack of sleep. and-- unless someone has a swan draped over their shoulder-- i don't even notice what anyone is wearing. so, the thought of cheapening the luster of an oscar nomination-- especially for such a trivial reason as money-- bugs me. a lot.

but, it's hard to argue the point tom sherak made in the newspaper yesterday. sherak is the new president of the academy of motion pictures arts and sciences, and was quoted in the usa today --and this is a genuine quote. i know, because i read it twice-- as saying this... (ahem)...

"all the critics' 10-best lists have 10 films."

...he said that.

now, i wasn't in the room when he said it, but i have to imagine his next sentence was something quick and random-- in an attempt to distract the interviewer from the stupidity of his previous sentence. something like, "so, uh, wow, that swine flu is somethin' else, enit?" or, "i like grilled cheese sandwiches! do you like grilled cheese sandwiches?!?!?!" or, "WHOAH!!! LOOK OUT FOR THAT PTERODACTIL!!! whew! that was a close one! you probably didn't see it, 'cause it flew away very, very fast, and, uhm..."

either that, or it was something along the lines of steve martin's "cup'o pizza" speech in 'the jerk'... "all the critics' 10-best lists have 10 films. well, i mean, some of them have eight films in their 10-best lists, but those aren't the top critics. all the top critics have 10-best films... first, back in the olden days, they had 12 in their 10-best lists. but that got to be too much because of the ink shortage in the great depression. so then they narrowed it down to 11. and it was a top 11 best-10 list for awhile, there. but then somebody said, 'hey! i know! how about nine?' but 'nine' sounded a little too much like the german word for 'no'. and, seeing this was in the middle of the war, they decided to go with 10 instead..."

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) bjork. seriously, i dig bjork.
2) hey!!! i did it!!! i completed my alphabetical movie marathon tonite!!!
3) have you noticed all the rain during the world series in philadelphia and new york? i think it's because both those teams have made God cry.
4) yes, vin diesel, i was making fun of you. and, yes, it's because you're bald.
5) eh, screw it. if it meant more money in my pocket, i'd expand my blog from the five to the ten things i fell in love with today...

song of the day...
"hooray for hollywood" by don swan and his orchestra

movie of the day...
"l.a. story"

1 comment:

  1. L.A. Story is one of my favorites ever. So many wonderful little hilarious details, such a great love story.