Saturday, August 22, 2009

moose's, moolah and crushes on lesbians...

just an update or three for those of you who've been paying attention...

the other day, i found out what "mooseknuckles" meant. unfortunately.

like i said a few days ago, i had no clue about mooseknuckles; i just thought it was something that sounded kind of goofy. in the back of my head, i thought, "is this slang for something gross...? .....nah." so! there i was, using my time on this earth wisely, playing fantasy football online with strangers, and i asked the rest of the guys in the chat room, "hey, who named this league, anyway? and what's a mooseknuckle?"

a few picks later somebody wrote, "i'll tell you about mooseknuckles, but, hold on. are there any kids in here? heh, heh, heh."

i was like, "wait, wha-WHAT???" but then he never said another word!!! he just completely left me hanging!!! (what the stink, man?!) so, the next day, i was telling a coworker about it, and she asked, "is it anything like camel toe?" to which, of course, i responded, "ewwwwwwwwww! i hope not!"

after googling it, she discovered that-- according to quite a few websites out there, actually-- a mooseknuckle is the male equivalent of camel toe. they even had celebrity mooseknuckle photos. "ooh, look, ryan!" said my coworker, "zac ephron!" i declined. "i'll take your word for it, thank you."

now, if you're still in the dark about all this moose and camel stuff... consider yourself fortunate. i think this is a no-google situation. that's my advice: do. not! google. and keep your pants loose.

update number two...

bad news/good news. the bad news is, i did not win the lottery this week. the good news is, neither did anyone else! w'hoooooooooo!!! can you believe the mega million jackpot is now up to $225 million?!?!?! that's neverland ranch money. i found myself daydreaming about that today. i don't think i'd put a zoo or a theme park on my ranch, but... for that kind of money, i'd have a hard time NOT adding in a full basketball court, a movie theater (with balcony), a movie editing room, a music studio, a squash court, a guest house, a miniature golf course, a concert stage, a nasa lift-off station...

alright, maybe i've been thinking about this too much today.

update number three...

yes, i am still on eharmony, but... i'm starting to think i may have already found my dream woman. ellen degeneres. yes, i know she's a little bit older than i am, and i hear that she's currently married, but i'm still holding on to hope.


the five things i fell in love with today...

1) daydreaming.
2) the chef boyardee can that's been sitting on my shelf for years.
3) that chances are probably pretty good that i'll never be beaten up by a ufc fighter. have you seen these guys??? yikes! crazy!
4) that i had my umbrella with me when i was out for a walk this afternoon. holy cow, did it pour!
5) ellen. honestly, i think she's the coolest thing. i got the chance to watch her show yesterday for the first time in awhile-- really, is there a funnier woman on television right now??? or a funnier person??? she's just great.

song of the day...
"davon geht die welt nicht unter" by zarah leander

movie of the day...
"inglourious basterds" saw it yesterday. i thought it was really, really good! not the best thing i've seen all year, but i did very much dig it. i've heard mixed reviews, but i don't think tarantino's ever made a bad film.

but, then again, neither have i.

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