Tuesday, December 15, 2009

of mice and alleged men...

it's not easy being a guy working in a day care center.

if there's something heavy, chances are, i'm lifting it. if there's a jar that won't budge, i'm gonna hafta open it, and if there's a big bug? i'll probably be the one to squish it.

i usually don't mind. feeds the ego, actually. and i'm sure my coworkers are aware of that. "oh, ryan, you're so much stronger than i am! could you change the water bottle???"

"welllllll, shucks... alright."


i drew the line this afternoon, though. when i walked out onto the playground, i was asked to sweep something out of our shed. "sure, no problem, what is it?"

dead mouse.

freggin' EWW, man! a DEAD MOUSE?! blech!!!! urgh! disgusting! i freaking HATE mice!!!! HATE 'em!!! disease-spreading little FREAKS! sweep it out?!?!?! i would have rather picked her nose!

(uh, my coworker's nose. not the mouse's.)

fortunately sally, another coworker of mine, stepped in and saved me. "do you want me to do it?" she asked. "uh, HELLS YES!!!!" i replied.

she actually saved me twice, come to think of it. the mouse's tail got caught up in the broom, and kind of swung around in the air for a good coupla' seconds-- looking very much like it was angrily coming back to life, just like i secretly feared it would. thinking back to it now, i'm certain i would've passed out if not for sally's ear-shattering scream of terror.

ahh, sally. my hero. my knight in shining ugg boots. thanks, homie. i owe you one!

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) knowing that-- if i have to... and ONLY if i REALLY (freaking) HAVE to... i'd be able to deal with a mouse situation. i've done it before, and i can do it again. but not without a great deal of swearing.
2) mouse traps.
3) having a damn good reason to be freaked out by mice... when i was living in a crap-hole apartment in valhalla, ny, i came home one day and saw something out of the corner of my eye seemingly shoot down from the ceiling. i looked up, then looked onto the floor. looked up again... nothing. turned on the tv and was just a few short minutes into sportscenter when i saw a mouse creep up from inside a drawer that i'd left open. little bastard came within inches of falling on top of my head and giving me rabies. and a heart attack. URGH!!!! i still can't think of it without shivering a bit!
4) hats.
5) heroic women.

song of the day...
"float on" by modest mouse

movie of the day...
"steamboat willie"

1 comment:

  1. "I would have rather picked her nose"...this made me spew onto my computer screen. Thank you young Skywalker.