Wednesday, December 9, 2009

yet another bad umbrella...

am thanking the Lord for some extra time to myself this morning. got to kick my feet up and watch the today show.

the day care opened two hours late due to the weather. it was pretty bad out there. snow, sleet, and, by the time i got stepped outside, a whole mess of wind and rain. they'd also posted a flash flood warning throughout the area, but said nothing about the massive puddles surrounding the mt. kisco train station. my left shoe is still damp. bastards.

actually, most of me was fairly wet throughout the day because of yet another terrible umbrella in my hands. i honestly don't know what i was thinking, buying that thing, after such a horrible experience with my last two. and then there was the fortune cookie i'd read that afternoon that said, "seriously, do NOT purchase an umbrella at walmart for under six dollars."

really should've seen this coming.

such a crap umbrella.

parts of it were actually made out of paper mache.

and it wasn't nearly as entertaining as the one i'd mentioned before. while that one was flamboyant and graceful, this one was just annoying. and a lot more vocal.

it spoke in a high-pitched nasally tone of voice. very whiny. like a toddler without a lollipop. or a 16 year old girl who didn't make the cut on american idol. or a linebacker from the dallas cowboys.

very shrill. and very much glass-half-empty, y'know what i mean? "EWWWWWWWWWWWW!" it said. "IT'S SO WINDY OUT HEREEEEEEE!!!!!!!! AND YUCKY!!!!!!! IT'S SO WET!!!!!!!!!! TAKE ME BACK INSIIIiiiiiiIIIIIIDE!!!!!!"

tomorrow i'm going to buy a real man's umbrella. and i think i know just where to find it: at an african-american lady hair weave store.

i saw chris rock's documentary 'good hair' a few months ago, and was astounded by what some women would go through, and how much money they would spend-- THOUSANDS of dollars-- on their weaves and whatnot. and i noticed the other day that the local hair weave guy also sells umbrellas. and i figured if that dude isn't selling a quality umbrella... somebody's going to put him in the hospital.

i think my rainy day troubles are behind me, friends!

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) quality rain gear.
2) my coworker was really bummed the other day about the prospect of finding a new car, but she got herself a good one at a great price today! w'hoooooo!
3) chris rock
4) al roker. good for him that he lost all that weight, but... i dunno. i think i still like fat al roker better... it that wrong?
5) "singin' in the rain" i was watching that over thanksgiving weekend and determined that it is impossible not to look at it for five consecutive minutes without smiling. i don't care who you are-- eeyore, oscar the grouch, eminem-- if you're watching "singin' in the rain" you're doing so with a big honking grin.

song of the day...
"came down" by al fatz

movie of the day...
"my left foot"

1 comment:

  1. My cousin, Joe, and I had a discussion about Fat Al Roker vs. Slim Al Roker while watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
    We both like Fat Al better, too.