Sunday, February 28, 2010

Academy Award winners...

12 (or thirteen) best picture Oscar winners. And some quick thoughts on each-- six sentences or less.

'The best years of our lives' (1946) Important film, and a worthy winner. But a film so melodramatic hasn't aged extremely well, and is just asking to be made fun of. ("Do you, Wilma, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" "Yes. I Yabbadabba do.")

'Hamlet' (1948) Laurence Olivier as Hamlet. Couldn't have done it better myself... No, really.

'Around the world in 80 days' (1956) Goofy little flick, but i dug it.

'Gigi' (1958) This is bound to go down in history as the worst film to ever win nine academy awards. Not a horrible movie, really-- great music. But, sheesh! NINE Oscars?!?! Maybe if Maurice Chevalier was in every scene...

'My fair lady' (1964) Great movie. Crap ending. The Audrey Hepburn I know and love is a lot stronger than that!

'Oliver!' (1968) Urgh. What a crap movie. Seriously. Crap movie. And this was named best picture while 'The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly' wasn't even nominated. Bah.

'Tom Jones' (1963) Eh... I preferred 'Tristam Shandy: A cock and bull story.'

'A man for all seasons' (1966) So much better than i expected it to be! Paul Scofield and Robert Shaw are amazing! A must see!!!

'The Sting' (1973) I really miss Paul Newman.

'The Last Emperor' (1987) Even after seeing 'Avatar' I can tell you that this is the most visually stunning film I have ever seen.

'Titanic' (1997) Not to harp on 'avatar' too much, but this is clearly James Carmeron's best movie. Kate Winslet is just plain great, and that ship is an incredible achievement.

'Gladiator' and 'Braveheart' (1995) and (2000) Pretty much the same movie, enit? I mean, y'know, i love them both, but... really. FREEEEEDOM!!!!! ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?!?! Same movie, no?

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) i'm really enjoying twitter. except for all the spam. my favorite tweeters so far: conan o'brien and questlove.
2) peter o'toole.
3) killer game today-- crushing defeat for us Americans, but probably the best hockey i've ever seen.
4) The Flintstones.
5) had a great time at the MOMA yesterday, until i almost got kicked out. blog to follow...

song of the day...
"what more can i say" by jay-z

movie of the day...
'Terminator 2' okay, actually, maybe this was james cameron's best.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Jersey shore...

This morning i got something of a curious email...

"As someone who has bought DVDs at Amazon.com, you might be interested in this week's notable new DVD releases, including 'Jersey Shore: Season One.'"

I thought that was like saying, "as someone who has previously eaten food, we thought you might be interested in this pile of armadillo vomit."


the five things i fell in love with today...

1) great memories of being at the jersey shore with my mom. we'd usually go in the fall when no one was around. very peaceful. really freggin' cold, but peaceful.
2) watching LOST. did you notice last night that hurley was picking up on my adam and eve theory??? :)
3) that i never have to worry about my hair looking like claire's does this season.
4) am thinking about starting a band called armadillo vomit...
5) being from new jersey!!!!!!

song of the day...
"glory days" by bruce springsteen

movie of the day...
"garden state"

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Scott Brown haikus...

Because the recent attacks on Scott Brown make as much sense to me as dedicating a blog of five haikus to a man i'll never vote for...


Fall in line, Scott Brown
or you wont gain respect from
GOP fatheads.


Party of no, Scott.
What is it you're doing, Scott?
Boo, hiss, boo, hiss, boo.


Your brain is our brain!
Thinking for yourself uncool.
Vote with us. M'hm.


A great man once said
"Hooray for filibusters!!!"
...or was that Limbaugh?


Oh snap! Let us have
A big, honking tea party!
Brown uninvited.


the five things i fell in love with today...

1) tea.
2) iced tea.
3) Mr. T
4) money-back warrantees.
5) the thought that maybe-- just maybe-- there might be a politician out there who thinks about his country before his party affiliation.

song of the day...
"American idiot" by green day

movie of the day...
"state of the union"

Monday, February 22, 2010

twitter...

i am now on twitter!!! twitter, man!!! TWITTER!!! Yes, yes... you can now follow me on twitter!!!

...except, i don't really know what y'all need to know in order to follow me on twitter. my profile thingie, i guess?

http://twitter.com/the5thingsilove

i dunno. please tell me if i'm wrong about this.

twitter is a mystery to me. and it's making me feel old. old like my dad. whenever my dad makes me laugh, he tells me i should mention it in my blog. or, he means to. my dad gets the word "blog" mixed up with the word "google."

a lot.

"heh, heh, heh!" he'll chortle, "you should put THAT in your google!!!"

he's also been known to call it a "glob" a "glog" a "croc" and an "avatar".

i don't think i'm going to tell him about twitter.

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) twitter. i guess.
2) that i'm not the only one who thinks that being able to carry guns into US national parks is a really terrible idea.
3) that rachel maddow recently held an online contest to rename the word "filibuster" into something that sounds more sinister.
4) that she's using that name on her show, and...
5) the winning name? the new name for the filibuster? ..."the tarantino". because it kills bills.

song of the day...
anything by neil young

movie of the day...
"desperado"

Sunday, February 21, 2010

chess victory!!!!!!! VICTORY!!!!!!!

okay, so where was i?

right. i was playing online facebook-chess against a stranger and was convinced that i was beating him soundly, until he started challenging my strategy in a very subtle and distinguished manner: by asking if i was retarded.

i responded by trying to convince him that i WAS, in fact, retarded, in hopes that i would A) make him feel guilty, and B) make him feel dumb and insecure about his own chess skills, if and when i eventually beat the crap out of him (at chess).

it didn't work.

and, really, having had a few days to think about it-- and i could be wrong about this, but-- i think a failed attempt to persuade someone that you're retarded is not altogether such a terrible thing.

having said that, his complete lack of empathy made me want to beat him even more...

him: what? are you retarded?
me: actually, i am a little bit. are you an asshole?
him: actually i am a little bit.

hmmmm. yeah. just a little bit.

then he continued...

him: are you going to stop putting me in check with your queen? because, otherwise i'm just going to keep moving away, and its just going to be a chase all over the board, that will be for no reason at all.

this made me study the board again. "no reason at all"??? i was beginning to think that he was just bluffing. trying to get me off my game. trying to make me zig instead of zag. it became more clear to me than ever that i knew what i was doing. which was weird. and scary. and made me want to zig instead of zag.

so, i thought i'd try to get into HIS head a little. if i couldn't convince him that i was mentally disabled, i could still focus on how little i knew about chess. and, since he struck me as the homophobic type, i thought i'd also try to flirt with him...

me: okay. you win. i will not put you in check with my queen. i will now put you in check with that thingie that looks like a castle. and, btw, i thought it was obvious-- i'm only chasing you because you're so damn pretty.

eight moves later? checkmate!!!

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) USA hockey!!! WE JUST SCORED OUR FOURTH GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! W'HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
2) saw the new scorsese flick today... kinda wanna watch it again, as i suspect this'll be a film i'll grow to love the more i see it...
3) read a thing on aol the other day about tina fey and how good lookin' she is, and a reader chimed in that she was "very easy on the eyes to look at". lol, he's got a way with words, that one.
4) ortolan!!!
5) i challenged this chess dude to a rematch, emphasizing my lack of skill once again, and calling him "sweetheart." which i came to regret, three hours later, after watching 'the godfather' and remembering that this guy's last name sounded very italian.

song of the day...
"mambo italiano" by rosemary clooney

movie of the day...
BEST PICTURE MOVIE MARATHON!!!!!!! "the godfather" and "the godfather, part 2" no matter how many times you see either of these, there will always be something new to discover...

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

SUPER BOWL QUIZ WINNERS!!!

announcing the winners of the first annual "5 things i fell in love with today super bowl quiz"!!!

TWO winners, in fact! PATTI and SHOEBEE!!! w'hoooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

they both did great!!! or... well, no, shoebee did great. she answered every single question correctly!!! patti didn't even try to answer anything. instead, she said, "I think I should get a CD just for commenting."

pretty cheesy, really.

but, i do love blog comments. so, i'm gonna make her a cd, too. HOWEVER!!!!! as punishment for not even ATTEMPTING to take a wild guess at these questions, she will have to suffer through the torment of hearing me sing. i used to sing in a band called earthnut. and i scared small children.

now, while shoebee truly did an awesome job without ANY assistance from google (uh huh), i'm afraid she will have to experience a similar earthnut torture, because she had the NERVE to point out that i misspelled the name chuck noll.

she was right, of course, but it bugs me that she was right. so, yeah, sorry, shoebee. your ears might never be the same.

if you're both okay with that, just email me your first and last names and where you'd like me to send the cd, what kinds of music you love, what kinds of music you hate, and, naturally, all of your credit card information.

HA!!! no, obviously, i was kidding about the credit card stuff. important to reiterate, though, please EMAIL me your info (you can do that right from my blogspot home page) --don't type all this stuff in a comment for the world to see. because, let's face it, there are a LOT of creepy people reading my blog (you know who you are).

also, i usually don't realize that someone has commented on a blog entry of mine for about a week. hence the delay in this-here announcement. so, yes, email is the way to go.

at any rate, and speaking of 'way to go'-- well done homies!!! and thanks for reading!

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) i do have this mental block about the spelling of chuck noll. and it really does bug me, as i'm one of the biggest pittsburgh steeler fans i know. but at least i know where it comes from-- attending oak knoll middle school.
2) blog comments. seriously, they make my day!!! well, 99% of them...
3) tank tops.
4) just to clarify... i love paul giamatti.
5) the creepy people who read my blog.

song of the day...
"creep" by radiohead

movie of the day...
BEST PICTURE MOVIE MARATHON!!! how could i not watch 1943's "casablanca" again? it's a classic for a reason. funny thing is, whenever i see it-- even though it's an amazing film on every level, and one of the best movies ever made-- the thing that i primarily think about is how much fun i had on the day when i first saw it. such a great day, just hanging out in philadelphia with a bunch of good friends...

the moustache...

last year, i decided to get serious about losing weight, and made a bet that if i didn't lose a certain amount before the end of 2009... i would grow a moustache. i didn't come close to losing that amount, and therefore... i grew a moustache.

well, no, actually. i grew a beard. and then i shaved it into a goatee. and then, this morning, i shaved it into a moustache, took a picture, and then immediately shaved it off. because i looked exactly like paul giamatti.

so, i cheated. sort of. i mean, technically, the moustache was there (for fifty-two seconds), so, y'know... did it really matter that i was too embarrassed to walk outside the door with it attached to my face?

maybe.

i dunno. but i think the important point is that i've since learned my lesson! i am, in fact, well on my way to becoming slim!!!

alright, well, no, that's not true either. far from it. i've actually gained approximately two and a half tons since january 1st, but it is lent. and i have decided to give up sitting on my fat ass every day of the week. push ups and crunches begin at dawn...





the five things i fell in love with today...

1) tom selleck.
2) rollie fingers.
3) salvador dali.
4) gene shalit.
5) mariah carey.

song of the day...
"the toucher" by the party of helicopters

movie of the day...
BEST PICTURE MOVIE MARATHON!!! "mutiny on the bounty" from 1935

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

chess update...

smack talk among my friends and relatives is pretty commonplace, no matter what we're playing. air hockey, basketball, gin rummy. kinda comes with the territory. i dish it out and i take it. because there's (almost) always an underlying tone of "hey, we're just having fun. no worries." but, if i'm competing against someone i don't know, obviously, i lay off, because... well, because i don't want to come across as a dick.

i used to think this was pretty much a universal thing, until a few weeks ago, when i was playing facebook chess against a complete stranger. now, y'have to understand, that when you invite people to a chess match on facebook, you have the option of adding a little message. "hi! who wants to play chess with me?" or "hi! i'm from minnesota!" that sorta thing... i always write, "hi! i suck at chess!"

so, to say that this dude was wiping the floor with me, wouldn't have been a surprise. to him or to me. and yet, he felt the need, somehow, when it was clear that he was beating me soundly, to send me this message...

"yer toast."

...i'm TOAST?! well, i mean, yeah. as it turned out, he was right. i was toast. but, still... he was a dick. and i'd rather be toast.

i challenged him to another game, but he whipped my tail. quickly, but in silence, this time. which was appreciated.

last week i started a game against a dude who was about 2,000 points better than me (2,000 facebook chess points, and, probably 2,000 iq points). but, i was surprised by a few of the moves he made, because i took his queen quite easily, and pretty much made him eat his knights and a coupla' pawns for breakfast. i was beating him slowly but surely-- or, at least, that's what i thought, until he told me...

"stop checking me, when it's not going to do anything, it's pointless."

i didn't understand what he meant, really. pointless? wasn't i... beating him? or did he have me right where he wanted? what was i missing??? i looked over the board for hours and hours (or, y'know, a few minutes), and i still couldn't see how i wasn't beating the ever-loving crap out of him. but, not wanting to sound like a dick, i didn't want to tell him, "what's so pointless about beating the ever-loving crap out of you? i'm finding it to be a lot of fun, actually! b'wahaha!!!" so, instead i asked, "what do you mean?" to which he replied...

"i mean, stop checking me! are you retarded?!"

and i thought... "...apparently...?" because, again, i suck at chess. clearly he must have had some hidden trick-chess ninja-move up his sleeve that i wasn't seeing, or else he wouldn't have felt so comfortable being such an ass... right?

but, i didn't want to say, "apparently" because... yeah, he's a dick. and why should he bask in the knowledge that he made me feel stupid? so, instead i told him, "actually, i AM a little bit retarded. are you an asshole?"

he hasn't responded yet, but i'm hoping he'll do so soon, and in a very sheepish manner. "wow, i didn't know you were really retarded, man, my bad..." in which case, i plan on continuing my humiliating beat down, thus weakening his ego to an unhealthy degree. and right before checkmate, while he's thinking, "how did this retarded kid beat me???" i'll tell him... "yer toast."

b'wahahahahahahaha!

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) the smart lady, upon looking at a picture of carey mulligan this morning: "wow, she is quite the sexy little sphinx! ...i mean... vinx... wait, no, vixen! VIXEN!"
2) the way the snow sits on winter trees.
3) the olympics!!!
4) i was watching curling this afternoon, and one of the commentators said, "she has literally strategized herself into a pickle." :) really? has she now? literally?
5) gin rummy.

song of the day...
"so cruel" by U2

movie of the day...
the BEST PICTURE MOVIE MARATHON CONTINUES!!! a frank capra double feature --"it happened one night" from 1934, and 1938's "you can't take it with you"

Thursday, February 11, 2010

chicken shit...

Reason number 1,046 to love the USA today: this front page headline... "Could chicken manure help curb climate change?"

great article, actually. apparently, chicken poo is being placed inside a machine called (really) a gasifier, where it is heated, using extremely low amounts of oxygen. this produces a great deal of a substance known as "biochar" which can be used as a high-quality organic fertilizer that suppresses a significant amount of carbon within the soil, thus preventing unnecessary carbon dioxide to rise into the already-polluted atmosphere. "biochar" as i understand it, comes from the greek word "biochardini", which loosely translates to, "crap of the chicken".

i'm excited about this. i don't know if any of it makes sense, or will work, but i think it's got some potential. maybe. or, maybe it doesn't, i dunno, what the hell do i know? but i am excited.

i mean, can you imagine something so crazy could be used to help the environment? who would have thought that something so disgusting could possibly be so vital to our future? and who could have seen coming the day when it would be seen as a compliment to be called a chicken shit?

Bob: Steve? i just want you to know, man, that i think you are one big, heaping pile of chicken shit.
Steve: Aww, thanks, buddy. Yes, i do enjoy recycling.

the greatest thing about this article was this quote from a poultry farmer. he said, "i always thought, 'wouldn't it be nice to burn all this manure and use the heat to warm the chicken houses?' "

really?

i mean, hey, look, maybe he's right, God bless him. and maybe we'll be driving around in cars fueled by chicken feces someday, but... really? did he really always think about that? y'know, having never been a poultry farmer, i can't imagine why he wouldn't sit around and think to himself, "hey, wouldn't it be nice to burn all this shit and make it into summin' practical?" but, still...

let's just say i'm skeptical.

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) it's like the comedian who asked the question about the first guy who discovered milk: what the freak was he doing with that cow in the first place?! "say... i wonder what would happen if i just... squeeze these things down here, and-- EWWWW!!!! .......dude, i'm gonna drink that!"
2) finding something you needed to buy at target... ON SALE!
3) also bought a brand new watch for twelve dollars. but it looks like i spent at LEAST 18 bucks.
4) and i got a new toothbrush.
5) kfc.

song of the day...
"know your chicken" by cibo matto

movie of the day...
"the birds"

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

my brand new temporary rap name...

yesterday, a friend of mine said that her son had told her he wanted to spend his birthday at "Chucky Jesus."

cutest thing i'd heard in a long time! :)

and for a few hours, it made me want to change my rap name. i mean, it didn't take too long to come to the conclusion that i already had the coolest rap name in my back pocket, if, y'know, i ever chose to forego a career in the childcare industry to become a rapper. and, if, well, yeah, i could actually rap. it's good to be prepared for such things, i think, so, if either of those things happened, i would still like be called Pappa Squat. i'm pretty sure.

but, in the event that Jay Z should come by to the center to do some scouting and wanted me to be in his crew, BUT told me that his cousin's name was already, in fact, Pappa Squat (and, assuming he could provide the proper documentation showing me that this was, indeed, the truth), i think Chucky Jesus would be a stellar plan B.

so much so that i came up with a few lyrics on the way to work...
don't judge me...

"it's Chucky Jesus on the microphone
all you Pharisees better leave me alone
gonna walk on water with a slice of pizza
Mary Magdalene it's so nice to meet ya
turning this water into soda pop
'cause when i rock the party, the party don't stop, y'all..."

actually, i did have to stop at that point, because i started laughing out loud while walking to the train station. and people were beginning to stare. and, also, there's the issue of blasphemy, too, maybe, so...


the five things i fell in love with today...

1) that God has a good sense of humor!
2) i never got to have a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's, but was never scarred from it... probably.
3) we had a SNOW DAY!!!!!!! which means i've only worked one day this entire week!
4) nobody asked me to shovel anything today!
5) i was watching keith olberman tonite and he pointed out the controversy about olympic skier lindsey vonn's sport's illustrated cover. specifically, the proximity of the letters P and U to her, uhm, backside parts. you be the judge...




song of the day...
"big bottom" by spinal tap

movie of the day...
started a BRAND NEW MOVIE MARATHON on monday!!! am watching 25 best picture winners before the academy awards air (err?) on march 7th.

i began with 1929's "the broadway melody" --a musical which featured, among other things, the premise that women could have a career and a husband... but definitely not both simultaneously...

yeah, maybe not the best choice for that year... poor hank. and, poor queenie, for that matter.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

SUPER BOWL QUIZ!!!!!!!!

First reader to give me the right answers to all FIVE questions gets a FREE CD!!!! And, if you can convince me that you got these answers without looking them up online (cheaters), you will also get a FREE BONUS HIDDEN TRACK!!!

actually, i don't really care if you look them up online. i don't think anyone's gonna get 'em right anyway, google or not (i am a super bowl junkie. and my questions rock). so, whoever comes the closest to answering all five questions right will get a free cd.

good luck to ya...


1) Name each NFL franchise to win more than one Super Bowl.

2) How many starting quarterbacks have led two different franchises to Super Bowls, who are they, and which teams did they lead?

3) The Denver Broncos beat the Atlanta Falcons 34 to 19 in Super Bowl XXXIII. Who was the last quarterback to take a snap on the field that night?

4) Who has four Super Bowl victories as a head coach?

a) Bill Walsh
b) Vince Lombardi
c) Chuck Knoll
d) Both A and C
e) All of the above

5) Name the player who caught the first Super Bowl touchdown thrown by Joe Montana.


the five things i fell in love with today...

1) that it's not raining in miami today!
2) The Who!
3) Ridiculous bets. i'm not a betting man, really, but i think it's hysterical that you can put money on how many windmills pete townsend will throw down during the halftime show! LOL!
4) The thought that maybe i should be a betting man-- i've been watching the superbowl for 30 years now, and i'm 24 and 6. last year, i even called the score! having said that...
5) ...i have absolutely no idea who's going to win tonite. less than two hours til gametime, and i have no clue. but here's what i'm thinking...

i'd love to see either team win. it'd be great, of course, to see the city of new orleans win it. and i really think they can. i was very impressed with drew brees and that O line in the nfc championship game, the way they handled the pass rush of the minnesota vikings. even before dwight freeney looked a bit banged up, i wondered if the saints could have a field day. so, if new orleans takes it, i won't be surprised at all.

HOWEVER... i just have a lot of faith in peyton manning. i think he's the best qb i've ever seen, playing at the absolute top of his game. he's got a big hill to climb tonite-- it's gotta be a big honkin' shootout-- but i think he's more than up to the challenge.

colts 44, saints 38

song of the day...
"indianapolis" by menudo

movie of the day...
"when the levees broke: a requiem in four acts" devastating spike lee documentary on katrina, and its aftermath.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Who is the Best Quarterback to ever start a Super Bowl???

How much free time do i have??? Enough to rank all 52 quarterbacks to have ever started a super bowl!!!

...really???

Yes, really. Not that i'm proud of that, but... i did have fun. Let the debate begin!!!


52) David Woodley, Dolphins
51) Rex Grossman, Bears
50) Vince Ferragamo, Rams
49) Tony Eason, Patriots
48) Neil O'Donnell, STEELERS
47) Stan Humphries, Chargers
46) Billy Kilmer, Redskins
45) Chris Chandler, Falcons
44) Mark Rypien, Redskins, 1 ring
43) Trent Dilfer, Ravens, 1 ring
42) Brad Johnson, Buccaneers, 1 ring
41) Craig Morton, Cowboys/Broncos, 2 appearances
40) Jeff Hostettler, Giants, 1 ring
39) Kerry Collins, Giants
38) Rich Gannon, Raiders
37) Jake Delhomme, Panthers
36) Doug Williams, Redskins
35) Jim McMahon, Bears
34) Joe Kapp, Vikings
33) Ron Jaworski, Eagles
32) Joe Theisman, Redskins, 2 appearances, 1 ring
31) Ken Anderson, Bengals
30) Matt Hasselbeck, Seahawks
29) Earl Morrall, Colts
28) Eli Manning, Giants
27) Boomer Esiason, Bengals
26) Joe Namath, Jets
25) Phil Simms, Giants
24) Drew Bledsoe, Patriots
23) Steve McNair, titans
22) Drew Brees, Saints
21) Donovan McNabb, Eagles
20) Ken Stabler, Raiders
19) Bob Griese, Dolphins, 3 appearances, 2 rings
18) Jim Plunkett, Raiders, 2 appearances, 2 rings
17) Ben Roethlisberger, STEELERS, 2 appearances, 2 rings
16) Len Dawson, Chiefs, 2 appearances, 1 ring
15) Jim Kelly, Bills, 4 appearances
14) Bart Starr, Packers, 2 appearances, 2 rings
13) Fran Tarkenton, Vikings, 3 appearances
12) Roger Staubach, Cowboys, 4 appearances, 2 rings
11) Kurt Warner, Rams/Cardinals, 3 appearances, 1 ring
10) Troy Aikman, Cowboys, 3 appearances, 3 rings
9) Steve Young, 49ers, 1 ring
8) Brett Favre, Packers, 2 appearances, 1 ring
7) Johnny Unitas, Colts, 1 ring
6) Tom Brady, Patriots, 4 appearances, 3 rings
5) Terry Bradshaw, STEELERS, 4 appearances, 4 rings
4) Dan Marino, Dolphins
3) John Elway, Broncos, 5 appearances, 2 rings
2) Joe Montana, 49ers, 4 appearances, 4 rings
1) Peyton Manning, Colts, 2 appearances, 1 ring...?

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) 20 hours of Super Bowl pre game shows!
2) Super Bowl Sundaes!!! A halftime tradition my mom began when i was a kid. A tradition i proudly carry on to this day.
3) Not going to a Super Bowl party, and actually watching the game.
4) Taking a vacation day on Super Bowl Monday!!!
5) A great debate!

song of the night...
"We are the champions" by Queen

movie of the night...
The Mission"

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Hahahahaha!!!

wasn't planning on blogging tonite, but i just had to share this! i was sitting here watching "my first place" on hgtv. they were showing a young couple through a few different houses, and the woman was completely turned off by a "tacky" marble fireplace. so, she says, "well, why can't they just-- instead of marble, put, like, a bunch of wood around this fireplace?"

to which her husband delicately broke the three seconds of awkward silence by saying... "uhm... maybe not the best idea to surround a fireplace with so much... wood."

"ohh," she says, "right. yeah."

Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) hgtv.
2) the smell of a good fireplace.
3) not currently having a fireplace, and, therefore, not having to chop wood.
4) come to think of it, living in such a tiny apartment and, therefore, not having a whole lot to vacuum.
5) when someone says something really dumb and it's not me.

song of the day...
"a million fireflies" by the midway state

movie of the day...
"chariots of fire"

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

the more things change...

i was all for it when President Obama spoke about change we could believe in, but y'know, sometimes, it's just nice to see that some things will always stay the same. even if it's something disgusting.

there's a woman that i used to see all the time when i took the scenic route home from the train after work. if i had to guess her age, i'd say maybe late fifties. she has dark grey hair, and a smile you can see coming at you from about a block.

it's not exactly a striking resemblance, but if i ever found out that she was directly related to the dude who played the skipper on gilligan's island, i wouldn't really be shocked.

she's not the only familiar person i walk past every day, but she's easily the most memorable. because every time i pass her-- every single time i pass her-- she spits into the trash can next to us. same trash can. same time of day. never fails. P'TOOOOOO!

the first few times i saw her do this, i just thought, "ew." didn't put a whole lotta thought into it, really, just, "ew." then i wondered if what she was doing might have been something of a mating call. kind of like a thing they do in west virginia when they want to attract a member of the opposite sex? "hey there, hot stuff! P'TOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

not really my thing, but, hey, to each their own.

anyway, i haven't taken to scenic route in awhile, but i felt like a leisurely stroll this afternoon. and i'd kind of forgotten about the spitting skipper, to tell you the truth, but sure enough, there she was. the hair. the smile. the trash can. P'TOOOOOO!

i don't know why this made me so happy.

stability? tradition? or, hey, maybe she's wearing me down a bit. "urgh, why does she always spit in that trash can?! it's so nasty! ...and yet, i... i can't look away!!! ...hubba, hubba."

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) 'modern family' -- funniest show on tv right now?
2) clean socks.
3) 'godfather' movies on bluray!!!
4) i finally finished the cd i promised brandon on the west coast for being the 204th (or something) member of the facebook group for the five things i fell in love with today. some good stuff on there.
5) i've written it down as "P'TOOOOO!" but i'm almost always walking around with ear buds clogging everything up, so i have never actually heard her spit. and i think i'm happier about that than anything else.

song of the day...
"touch of grey" by the grateful dead.

movie of the day...
"fatal attraction"

LOST follow-up blog...

you asked for it! you got it! (and, when i say "you" i'm talking about you, mel) it's a LOST follow-up blog after watching the season premiere last night. basically, it's like this...

i have no freaking idea what's going on.

i s'pose they're going with the parallel universe theory...? but i don't know if the two parallel universes will remain separate, or whether they will somehow intersect as the series winds down...?

have you noticed how often i use the word, "somehow" whenever i'm writing about LOST??? lol! puzzled as i am, though, i am still so much more than happy to just sit back in my chair and say, "wait, what?!?!?!" because i'm sure the men and women behind the scenes of the best show in the history of television are going to blow me away a few more times in the next few months...

i often disagree with robert bianco of the usa today, but i think he really nailed how i feel in his column this morning...

'...once you got past the fun of seeing the characters in their "original" states, you probably realized the people on that plane were not the people we've come to care about. Those people are back on the island: the Jack who's lost his hardened certainty, the Kate who's more open and giving, the Sawyer who sees people rather than con-man marks. They're on the hero's journey to redemption, and one way or another, they have to complete it.

How that happens, none of us can know. All we can know is that it's a waste of time and pleasure to let your fears about the eventual destination overwhelm the joys of the journey.

Enjoy the ride, leave the steering to the captain, and wait and see what's next.'


the five things i fell in love with today...

1) freakin' hurley!!! he's about thirty-two different shades of awesome!
2) an hour and a half SNOW DELAY this morning!!!! w'hooooooooo!!!
3) being very grateful that the train station didn't explode at four a.m. today...

last night i went to bed immediately after seeing on the news that government officials feel an attempted terrorist attack is "certain" to happen on our soil in the next six months. and then, slightly after 4, i heard a huge noise off in the distance-- BAM! whoooshhhhhhhhhh!!! ...BAM!!! whooooshhhhhhhhhh!!!! ...BAM!!! whoooshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

honestly, i just started praying, thinking that something horrible might have happened at the train station or in downtown white plains, somewhere. kind of scary, really-- well, no, very frightening, actually-- until i looked out the window to see ...a snow plow.

4) giving credit where credit is due.
5) the thought that in my parrallel universe, i might be a steroid-free hall of fame third baseman for the new york mets, smooching anne hathaway, and under strict doctor's orders to consume one pint of rocky road haagen dazs a day.

song of the day...
"mr. plow" by homer simpson... "call mr. plow! that's my name! that name again is mr. plow!"

movie of the day...
"donnie darko"

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

LOST: last minute thoughts and predictions!!!

i wake up at five o'clock in the morning to catch my train, and i'm old. so staying up until 11 is kind of a big deal. that in mind, i went to bed ridiculously early (before nine is all i'm going to tell you) last night in order to stay wide awake tonite for the season premiere of the best show in the history of television, LOST.

which was dumb, as i kept on waking up in the middle of the night anyhow, like a kid on Christmas eve, thinking, "ooh!!!! LOST is on tonite!!!"

i've never been more excited to watch a tv show before. maybe a super bowl, or two... maybe.

it's crazy-- even my subconscious is getting involved in it! i'm telling you the truth-- i keep seeing the number 108 EV-ER-Y-WHERE!!!! i'll look at the clock and notice it's 1:08 in the afternoon. i was watching a movie last weekend, and stopped it randomly at 108 minutes. i'm reading the book 'seabiscuit' and on page 174 they talked about a filly carrying 108 pounds on her back. i got 108 bonus points on a game i play on my ipod. i was budgeting my traveling expenses for the next few weeks and came up with $108. even this blog-- i never noticed this before, but i wrote 108 postings in 2009!

it's kind of almost freaking me out! lol, my friends have told me i should have played hurley's numbers in the lottery tonite! lol

not sure what the numbers mean, by the way. nor am i certain about much on the island, but, after diving through every single episode of every single season, every bonus feature on every dvd, and every easter egg i could find, here are a few thoughts...

1) i still think somehow, the series is going to end with jack and kate being laid to rest in the caves, only to discover themselves years later, as "adam and eve".

2) i have no idea if the atomic bomb changed the future or not, but i think, even if it did-- as we've previously learned from eloise hawking-- course correction will take over somehow. the island will find a way to bring them all back.

3) jacob. i'm kind of leaning towards the thought that he may represent God. in last season's finale, he was talking to that other man on the beach (the devil?), and it seemed to me that what was going on there was something like a test of faith. a debate that had been going on for a long, long time. the man dressed in black said something to the effect of, "you keep bringing people back to this island, jacob, still trying to prove me wrong, but they're only going to fight, hurt and murder each other." i'm not sure, but i am starting to suspect that the survivors of oceanic 815 were just the latest pawns in the debate: will good or evil prevail?

4) when locke first met jacob in that shack in the middle of the woods? wasn't jacob at all, but "the devil". (i'm just gonna keep on calling him the devil because johnny cash already took the name "the man in black"). whoever it was called out to locke, "help me!" jacob seemed to be in no need of any help whatsoever, but "the devil" was looking for a loophole, right? and he seemed to have found it, somehow, when he was able to take over locke's body after ben strangled him.

5) i'm pretty sure about number four (although i don't know if i explained it quite like i wanted to-- gimmie a break, it's complicated!) but number five is something i'd bet money on! i am 100% sure i know how richard alpert came to be on the island. he's been there for a lonnnnnnnng, long time? and he was seen delicately fixing the sails of a ship in a bottle...?

richard alpert was on the black rock!!! the ship that crashed on the island wayyyyyyyy, way back before your mother was born!

that would also explain richard's eyeliner, i s'pose. probably met johnny depp while vacationing in the carribean and thought, "hm... i wonder if that'd be a good look for me?"

okay, maybe not. and maybe i have absolutely NO idea what i'm talking about, but i have absolutely no problem with that! LOST is a show that is so unbelievably well written, well shot and well performed, that i'm really just content to sit back and take everything in. i have enormous expectations for this season, and i can't wait to see what they'll come up with next!!!

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) j.j. abrams
2) damon lindelof
3) carlton cuse
4) crazy LOST fans everywhere. am specifically thinking of friend's of friends over at professor thom's bar in nyc. watching the show together on a big, honking screen and offering free drinks if the plane crash never happened! LOL! good times!
5) evangeline lily... i'm just going to say it again... evangeline lily.

movie of the night...
LOST. think of it as one, gigantic mini-series. and start from the beginning.

song of the night...
"mr. eko" by the oceanic six. absolutely hysterical!


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