chicken shit...

Reason number 1,046 to love the USA today: this front page headline... "Could chicken manure help curb climate change?"

great article, actually. apparently, chicken poo is being placed inside a machine called (really) a gasifier, where it is heated, using extremely low amounts of oxygen. this produces a great deal of a substance known as "biochar" which can be used as a high-quality organic fertilizer that suppresses a significant amount of carbon within the soil, thus preventing unnecessary carbon dioxide to rise into the already-polluted atmosphere. "biochar" as i understand it, comes from the greek word "biochardini", which loosely translates to, "crap of the chicken".

i'm excited about this. i don't know if any of it makes sense, or will work, but i think it's got some potential. maybe. or, maybe it doesn't, i dunno, what the hell do i know? but i am excited.

i mean, can you imagine something so crazy could be used to help the environment? who would have thought that something so disgusting could possibly be so vital to our future? and who could have seen coming the day when it would be seen as a compliment to be called a chicken shit?

Bob: Steve? i just want you to know, man, that i think you are one big, heaping pile of chicken shit.
Steve: Aww, thanks, buddy. Yes, i do enjoy recycling.

the greatest thing about this article was this quote from a poultry farmer. he said, "i always thought, 'wouldn't it be nice to burn all this manure and use the heat to warm the chicken houses?' "

really?

i mean, hey, look, maybe he's right, God bless him. and maybe we'll be driving around in cars fueled by chicken feces someday, but... really? did he really always think about that? y'know, having never been a poultry farmer, i can't imagine why he wouldn't sit around and think to himself, "hey, wouldn't it be nice to burn all this shit and make it into summin' practical?" but, still...

let's just say i'm skeptical.

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) it's like the comedian who asked the question about the first guy who discovered milk: what the freak was he doing with that cow in the first place?! "say... i wonder what would happen if i just... squeeze these things down here, and-- EWWWW!!!! .......dude, i'm gonna drink that!"
2) finding something you needed to buy at target... ON SALE!
3) also bought a brand new watch for twelve dollars. but it looks like i spent at LEAST 18 bucks.
4) and i got a new toothbrush.
5) kfc.

song of the day...
"know your chicken" by cibo matto

movie of the day...
"the birds"