Daylight savings time...

Among the many things that make me feel like a complete idiot, daylight savings time is right up there near the top. I have a serious mental block with it. For years, people have told me, "just remember: Spring forward! Fall back!" and then i would feel my face get flushed, because, as obvious as that is to everyone else in the world, it still doesn't do it for me.

"Right, right" i'd say, "Got it. Spring forward, fall back, sooooooooo.... well, let's just say i went to bed around midnight tonite, i would, y'know... set my clock back toooooo... 11:15... ?"

....No. No, you moron, no, not at all. What's wrong with you?

Fortunately, technology has made it possible for me to never have to ask that question again. There's a tv guide built right into my television! Which is PERFECT!!! ...on the nights when there's not a significant power outage in White Plains.

This morning, I would have forgotten all about DST, truthbetold, but, again, technology came to my rescue. This time, in the form of the clock in my cellphone. At first glance, i was really confused, and then bewildered, then confused again, and then grateful, and happy. And then sad ("dude... my cellphone is smarter than me.").

I understand there was some talk awhile ago about doing away with DST altogether, and, i'd appreciate it. i mean, not that they should do it on my account, but... it is a bit embarrassing. Well, no, really embarrassing. Because, honestly, i don't know what it is, i just can't get over it.

I can only assume i was out sick the day they taught us about it in school. That and the '30 days hath September' poem. I can never get that right, i always have to look at a calender. Seriously, if i ever had to recite it on a gameshow, i'd be screwed...

"30 days hath September...
Something, something, something... ember...
Something else is lots of fun...
October might have 31...?"

Not proud of any of this, by the way.

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) My cell phone.
2) I saw two great movies today-- 'Ghost Writer' and 'Green Zone'.
3) The Joe Cocker lookalike i saw in target the other day. Like the late 1960's Joe Cocker, except this guy may have been on drugs. Briefly considered asking him if he wanted to be the drummer for a band called armadillo vomit, but i soon thought better of it.
4) Speaking of dumb things newsanchors say (or at least i was in the last post), i was watching the news a few weeks ago, when the tragic story broke about the whale who killed the woman who worked at sea world. This has to be the worst segue ever-- she went from the killer whale story to this, "in the meantime, we want to talk about some other political issues..."
OTHER political issues?! I mean, y'know, talk about burrying the lead!!! i was like, "wait, do they know something i don't??? i thought it was some sort of an accidental thing...? Who was this whale working for, dammit???"
5) Really, the only good thing about DST is that it can be a convenient excuse whenever i say something truly dumb, or if i forget somebody's name or something.

"Hey, Judy!!! Good to see you again!"
Ryan. It's me... Bill.
"Oh, right! Yeah, sorry, man. Haven't slept much lately-- daylight's savings time, you know how it is!"
Dude... that was 3 months ago.
"Right, yeah, uhm..."

song of the night...
"last great American whale" by lou reed.

movie of the night...
"free willy"