Q: so, ryan, it's currently 91.7 degrees in your apartment?
A: yes it is.
Q: is that an exaggeration?
A: sad to say it's not.
Q: think you'll be getting any sleep tonite?
A: no. not much, anyhow.
Q: in your experience as a child technician, have you found that a lack of sleep is a good thing when working in a room full of toddlers?
A: ...did you seriously just ask me that?
Q: right. uh, so, do you see any benefits at all of the horrid weather that's presently melting all of westchester county?
A: well... i was able to defrost my freezer fairly easily tonite.
Q: oh, good! good for you!
A: thank you. yeah, it was so easy, in fact, that i think i might not defrost it again until the next heat wave. summer of '11 or whenever.
Q: oh... actually, having seen gi-honking shards of icebergs that you somehow managed to pull out from your freezer this evening, i thought that plan was already in place. was i wrong?
A: quite wrong. yes.
Q: but... they were enormous, though, right? i mean, you can see my mistake...?
Q: i mean, dude. you could kill a flippin' bear with one of those.
A: yes. also not an exaggeration.
Q: so, are you ready for some random questions?
A: absolutely. thank you, yes.
Q: are you thinking about getting the new iphone?
A: yes. the hd video recording/editing is just too much for me to pass up!
Q: do you care where lebron james is going to play next year?
A: not a whole lot, no.
Q: are you going to watch his one hour espn press conference tomorrow night, regardless?
A: of course.
Q: do you know the word for grapefruit in french?
A: yes i do.
Q: cool. how's the screenplay coming along?
A: agonizingly slow. i'm getting a bit too insecure about it, i think. wondering if i'll ever be as good of a writer as i someday hope to be. i mean, i know i've got a really good--
Q: --dude. i didn't ask you for your life story.
Q: one word answers now... ben or jerry?
Q: tom or jerry?
Q: favorite tree?
Q: favorite green animal?
Q: got a mint?
Q: is that because the girl you really liked when you were sixteen told you once that your breath was funky?
Q: was she a bitch?
Q: how'd you do with the gorgeous girl behind the cash register at the deli today?
A: i held my own.
Q: you were smooth?
A: i was smooth.
Q: yeah? did you make her laugh?
A: you bet.
Q: how did you keep her from noticing your big honking gut?
A: i looked deep into her eyes, while raising my hands high up in the air, snapping my fingers in an offbeat rythym, while shouting, "CA-CAW! CA-CAW!!! LOOK UP HERE!!! LOOK UP HERE!!!!"
A: right on.
the five things i fell in love with today...
1) fast food. i can't stand the heat, so i'm staying out of the kitchen.
2) jillian michaels. did i tell you i bought one of her workout dvds? it's kicking my big fat arse, that thing. i hate it. i mean, really, truly hate it. but it's helping. which is saying a lot, actually, as i bought the thing with a set of weights, a pint of ben and jerry's ice cream, and absolute no sense of irony whatsoever.
3) ben and jerry's new peanut brittle flavor.
4) the brilliant short film, "vacuum cleaners from hell."
5) seems to be the year of crappy movies, but i've also found a bunch of great music, especially lately. i'm a touch late to this particular bandwagon, but i am now most certainly on it-- band called pomplamoose. i DARE you to watch this video and not check out more of their stuff...
...can't be done, can it? they're like the potato chips of the music world. 'cept, y'know, healthier.
song of the night...
'another day' by pomplamoose
movie of the night...
"the three amigos"