Sex and the City 2... part one.

I spent a good portion of this long weekend at the movies. With mixed results.

Saturday was kind of a dud-- 'prince of persia.' That was the type of flick that makes me happy i'm not a film critic... not because it was so bad, mind you. It was just so forgettable that, if i had to sit down and write about what i didn't like about it, i'd probably have to make something up.

Yesterday, though, i was at The Happiest Place on Earth-- the Jacob Burns Film Center. There i was rewarded with one of the best double features i've seen in awhile-- a little independent film with a great cast called "Please Give" and the winner of last year's Best Foreign Feature Oscar, "The Secret in their Eyes." While i enjoyed both tremendously, i think it's the latter that will stay with me the longest-- such a brilliant mix of mystery and romance. Really clever and subtle writing, performances. Very much loved it.

Now, a smart man knows how to quit while he's ahead. I, on the other hand, went to see "Sex and the City 2" this afternoon.

Whew, yikes.

People often think that i'm joking when i tell them that i was a big fan of the tv show. And, y'know, i get it. But, i've never been embarrassed by it; I've always been a very proud supporter of 'Sex and the City' ...until today.

The thing i loved most about the show was the writing-- razor sharp, and, at its best, was always about something anyone could relate to-- love, friendships, picking yourself up when you fall down. This movie had a little of that, too, but it was so overwhelmed with glamour and shoes and glitz and more shoes and, most of all, UNBELIEVABLY rude behavior that i couldn't help but think it was written by someone who had never even HEARD of HBO, let alone seen the show.

Watching this movie was like visiting a good friend you haven't seen in a long time and finding out that she's turned into an asshole. i didn't love any of these characters anymore, i wouldn't want to be friends with them, and i was extremely happy when they fell down... except that, they didn't learn a single thing from their mistakes-- and, in fact, were rewarded for them.

[SPOILER ALERTS will follow...]

The girls go to Adu Dhabi-- free of charge, staying in a $2,200 a night palace with their own personal car and butler, and the only thing their host asks them to do (or, really, assumes that they'll do, because who wouldn't?) is act in a way that respects their culture. Instead, Samantha is thrown in jail, basically for reinterpreting the phrase "When in Rome do as the Romans do" to "When in Abu Dhabi- FUCK YOU! I'm a New Yorker!!!"

So, they get kicked out of their hotel, which, i think, is really quite understandable under the circumstances. But these women (who, have i mentioned? i don't even recognize anymore) have a fit, because they ONLY have ONE HOUR to pack up all their belongings and take themselves back to the airport. Which, again, made me think, "well... okay, what's the problem with that...? Plenty of time, no?"

No.

Because these women have literally packed more stuff for this one week trip than i have ever possessed in my life. Charlotte comes running out of her room with a handful of designer dresses that, if sold, could probably feed a family of five for a month and screams about not having enough time to pack everything up, and... I'm supposed to feel sorry for her? Or, worse yet, was i meant to find that funny? Cute, maybe?

Seriously, how in the world is anyone-- especially in THIS economy-- supposed to relate to that?!

Honest to God, they were complaining the entire time-- "Girls, if we don't make this flight, we're going to have to fly back to New York in COACH!!!"

Wow... Poor fucking you.

Honestly, my head was spinning.

But then it got worse. Before catching their plane, they had to make a trip to a crowded marketplace to find a lost passport. While there, Samantha made yet another scene which would've gotten her arrested-- not only anywhere in Abu Dhabi, but most of NYC as well... but, instead, they were saved by a handful of Middle Eastern women who seem to worship New York fashion more than their own religion.

Now, before you read this next sentence i want you to know that I'm being completely serious... I have never before witnessed a better example of why people outside the United States hate us so much. In what i can only guess was a terribly offensive attempt of showing "GIRL POWER" the writers of this movie, in this scene, basically said to the world, "Hey, everyone!!! We're America!!! And WE are BETTER than you, and YOUR WOMEN know it!!!! So, hop on board, you ignorant bastards!!!! Or we will continue to take a BIG New York City-sized SHIT all over your culture!!!!!!"

And then they flew back home.

In their luxury suites.

Ho. Lee. Crap.

So much more to say about this movie... Part two is coming up...

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) Camels.
2) Rice.
3) A good shisha on a hot summer evening.
4) Respectful tourists.
5) When totally contrived, and misguided movies make me feel like a better writer.

movie of the day...
I had to watch a couple of guy flicks to get the stench of 'sex and the city' out of my nostrils. Started with a good one: "Live Free or Die Hard."

song of the night...
"I'm a man" by Bo Diddley