Dumbass sore winners...

Part two of my two-part Saturday night series of things i don't like in sports...

2) Charlie Manuel, manager of the philadelphia phillies.

Here's most of the May 12th article by ESPNNewYork.com staff writer Kieran Darcy...

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Rod Barajas doesn't mind stealing signs, as long as it's done the old-fashioned way. So the Mets catcher didn't hold back when asked to comment on the controversy surrounding Philadelphia Phillies bullpen coach Mick Billmeyer, who was caught on camera peering through binoculars at Coors Field earlier in the week.

"I've never heard [of] anything like that happening before," Barajas said after Wednesday's 6-4 loss to the Nationals. "I know that they're good at stealing signs, [because] I played there -- the old-fashioned way, which is fine. I'm not going to sit here and say it's wrong that they're doing that. Hey, if they're able to do it, by relaying a sign with a runner on second base, why wouldn't you, why wouldn't you do that? It's gonna be a big advantage."

Phillies manager Charlie Manuel told The Associated Press that Billmeyer was simply watching Philadelphia catcher Carlos Ruiz set up defensively Monday night.

"When you have coaches in the bullpen who are relaying signs -- like you said, I'm not saying that he did it, I don't know what's going on -- but in general, if that's what was happening, I think it's something that shouldn't happen, and it's not part of this game," said Barajas, who caught 48 games for the Phillies in 2007.

"We were not trying to steal signs," Manuel said of the allegations. "Would we try to steal somebody's signs? Yeah, if we can. But we don't do that. We're not going to let a guy stand up there in the bullpen with binoculars looking in. We're smarter than that." But Manuel was not done. The Phillies' chief later turned his attention to the Mets, hinting in a CSNPhilly.com report their home record has a suspicious undercurrent.

"Somebody maybe ought to check the Mets if they did that," Manuel said. "Their [bleeping] home record is out of this world and they're losing on the road. Sometimes that's a good indicator of getting signs and [crap]. I see somebody setting there at (14-7) at home and (4-8) on the road, I'd get concerned about that. That kind of crosses my mind. I'm not accusing them, but you look at that and -- damn. We're about the same home and road. I'm just saying their record is much better at home and they hit better."

This week was not the first time the Phillies have been accused by other teams of stealing signs. In 2007, the Mets alleged the the club was using a center-field camera to gain an advantage. The Boston Red Sox also levied charges in 2008.

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Okay, so, first of all... either Charlie was misinformed, or he was flat out lying, because those binoculars were clearly trained on the catcher for the Colorado Rockies.

Or, hey. I'm even willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and give 'em another reasonable explanation for the incident: maybe Manuel was just trying to save Mick Billmeyer a ton of embarrassment because he knew his coach thought that the Rockies' catcher looked so much like Derek Zoolander that he couldn't take his eyes off him.

I dunno, but... that would clear things up for me, sure.

But, here's the problem i'm left with...

Let's say a cop pulled me over and said, "Listen... I'm going to be honest with ya. You musta been going 110 mph just now, and, when i ran your plates, i can see that you have a history of speeding in this county. But, since i didn't have my speed gun on you at the time you whizzed by me... i'm gonna hafta let you go with just a warning."

Now, what kind of a moron wouldn't know what to say in that situation?

"Okay, sir. Thank you, Officer. I'll be sure to be more careful next time. Have a good day, Officer."

Seriously, who in their right mind WOULDN'T say that???

Charlie Manuel. And, probably, Eminem.

Three guesses --which one does this sound like...

"Hey, look here, buddy-- not only was i not speeding, but-- about ten miles down the road a-piece-- i done seen this feller settin' there in his sports vehicle at a traffic stop. And by the looks-a-that man's face what was drivin' that car? i done knows it fer certain that he was a-fixing to be doin' a might-fine days worth a-speeding! So, insteadin' of pulling me over and wastin' my time, you should be taking a looksee for him, is the way i figure."

M'hm.

When you've been caught with your hand in the cookie jar, Chuck... be a man, own up to it, and then go about your business like an honest man would. Don't get defensive and make wild accusations out of left field. That's just chickenshit.

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) Finally having an explanation for the beating Johan Santana took from the phils a few weeks ago.
2) Jose Reyes is back where he belongs!!! Leading off!!!
3) ESPN
4) The first girl i ever smooched and i got back in touch via facebook recently. And she told me that she hadn't been kissed like that since... or... no. But, she did have a few nice things to say about this blog, which made me happy!
5) Dumb bets. After a friend sang the praises of 76 year old phillies pitcher jamie moyer the other day, i was willing to bet the taste of one sour grape that Santana would finish off the year with a better ERA average than her man.

Bon apetite, homie.

song of the night...
"your cheatin' heart" by Hank Williams

movie of the night...
"Eight Men Out"