Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A Poem (based on a true story)...

Once there was a happy fellow.
He went by the name of Ryan...

If i told you that he loved to rhyme,
i sure would not be...

...trying to misrepresent myself. Or Ryan.
Not by any stretch of the imagination.


There were things that Ryan was good at.

And things that he just wasn't.

There are things that Ryan likes a lot.

And things that he just doesn't.

This candle with an apple shape
is clearly to his liking.

Its crisp, autumnal scent will make him...



All was grand in Apple-land!
His apartment smelled of orchard...

But then a big, honking hole shot through one side of the apple,
causing a boatload of hot candle wax to cascade all-the-freak over
Ryan's computer keyboard.

This actually happened.

(By the way, the irony of a candle in the shape of an apple
wreaking having on Ryan's iMac is not lost on him.
He's just not ready to accept the humor of this particular
part of the story at the present moment).

Most of the harm had been avoided.
which was a great relief.

And yet the news
was not all good...

The wax had taken a P.

"NO P ?!?!?!" Ryan cried...
"No P ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" he sighed,
"What if i want to write 'Cha_el' ???

"What if i want to write '_etunia'
Or '_lastics' Or what if, for that matter, 'A_ _le'???

"What of my friends _atty and _aul?
And what other friends have i missed?

Wait! I think my _assword has a P in it!!!
Aw, man, i am really quite _issed!!!"


...as it turned out, things weren't all that bad.
Back came the P, that wacky nomad
And Patty and Paul would surely be glad
to hear such a bright, happy ending!

Yes, this is the tale of Ryan, the brave!
Fixer of things, the keyboard he saved!
Wanting of nothing, but needing a shave,
For him there was so much rejoicing!

Probably a bit too much rejoicing, actually.
I mean, it's not like he fixed the economy, or anything.

I'm just sayin'...


While cleaning the rest of the wax from his desk,
though this was a bleak and ridiculous mess,
Ryan felt the need to kneel down and confess,
and to thank the good Lord for small favors...

For Uno, and rhyming, and keyboards with P's...
For smell-good apartments, and apples on trees...
For C3PO, and dictionaries...

And for chords that will wake up my neighbors!

Thanks, God! :)

the five things i fell in love with today...

1) Y'know, my friends, i have to be honest with you... God is just really, really good to me. Sometimes i don't feel that knowledge as much as i'd like to. But tonite is not one of those nights.
And that's numbers one through five.